When You Can’t Have It

Not always can you have everything you want. I decided that it might be a good idea to train your character to be ready for it.

Some time ago I started passing often on sweets to see if I’m OK not having something when I want it. But it appeared to be rather easy.

Once we were having fun in a group after dinner and playing some board games. A big box of my beloved Lindt milk chocolate was opened. The temptation was extreme, but I wanted to pass, although I knew that there will be none left for tomorrow. And I felt good and proud of myself. This is when I experienced on my own skin that the harder the practice, the better the results. After that evening, I have absolutely no problems passing on any sweets.

A few months ago, I finally got to see live a great band, whose songs most often help me concentrate on coding, but also simply bring me a good mood: Crippled Black Phoenix. Since I stayed right at the stage, I could see the playlist and, as it usually is, my favourite song was one of the last. I was patiently waiting for it, while enjoying those before it.

But I was there with my beloved wife who realised that she doesn’t really like this kind of music (surely because she doesn’t code). A couple of hours into the concert she was bored and wanted to leave. I took a look on the playlist. There were 2 more songs until the one. I suddenly remembered the Lindt chocolate lesson and decided that this is the best moment to practice giving up for my loved one. With a smile on my face, singing along, I took her by the hand and we went home. I felt very good that night.

Currently I’m in the middle of another project. As you may know from one of my previous messages, I don’t drink any alcohol for 5 weeks already and intent to do so until September. I don’t have any addiction problems, but sometimes I just love to have a glass of wine at the dinner or a glass of good cold beer. I knew it will be more difficult than the experiment with sweets. Last Friday was the biggest milestone till now. After a very difficult month, I finally closed the project at my [now] previous job. I could finally relax. I met with a dear friend of mine, whom I didn’t see for a long time and who brought me freshly brewed kraft beer that he makes himself in their small university brewery. The pressure was high. But I found strength to reject drinking that beer, even being at risk to be misunderstood and appear rude for not accepting the present.



If you are thinking that I deprive myself of joy with these exercises, I can assure you that I do not. On the contrary, all the little victories over these desires bring me joy and it is also fun to analyse your behaviour.

Plus, these experiments have deadlines. Just wait for me, September…

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